Hello Class! Summer Break is right around the corner! Are you excited? Do you have plans? Well shelve em! We are an all year school here and if I have to suffer… Oh, I mean… We are here for a continuous learning cycle. Wink wink.

Now, take out those fancy Apple Pods or… Air Beats? Whatever you kids use. I have sensitive ears, I can tell someone has SOMETHING on. Normally I don’t care too much because I’m so cool and all, but today’s lesson is on silence! So… silence!

As some of you may know, I am in a cool band! It’s a pretty fun hobby and all that, but the other week we got a heckler who was unhappy that we were playing. And you know, that’s okay. Some people just have different (read: bad) taste in sound! So I thought it would be good to learn how to customize your listening experience a little! Let’s go!

First, open up that System Configuration window that you kids love so much! Then, jump to the second tab, the one that looks like a sideways UFO tractor beaming up our best and brightest to study in a utopian environment on a far off world!

Here is where we will make most adjustments! To start, down at the bottom is “Performance.” You can adjust or mute this to manage hearing bards in the street. Sometimes it’s nice to see a little pop up show! Other times, people will make the sounds of trash cans falling into a pile of screaming animals rolling in broken glass and for times like those, turning off Performance can be a big help! Or maybe you’re a heckler and you can just mute the band instead of being mean! Whatever you want!

Additionally here, we have Sound Effects which can be nice unless a group of sweepers converge at your position! And are you tired of hearing a horrible chirp in PVP? A temporary turning off of System Sounds allows for a calmer experience! Just be careful about telling your cohorts because the people that like to chirp really like you to hear the chirps and they might get upset if you muted them.

Here are some other settings! Most of these aren’t vital to the lesson, but remember we talked about sweeping? Well, now you can turn off the sound effects OTHER people make by changing the “Other PCs” volume setting! No more broom noises and you can still hear sound effects! What a wonder!

And finally, having a house party? I won’t tell your parents, I don’t really care. But if you’re going to hire a band or something, it is a good idea to get yourself a Silence Orchestrion Roll! These can be purchased from your neighborhood Housing Merchant under the first option and by scrolling alllllll the way to the near bottom of the list!

Okay, well you’re all set now! You can now hear what you want to hear and experience what you want to experience a little better! If you see me at a show say hi, and if you hate the music don’t be mean, just mute! See you next time!