Howdy, P’poldestrians! It’s been a while, but I’m finally back in Eorzea! Don’t tell anyone. I don’t think I’m allowed, technically speaking, you know, from like a legal standpoint. But what are they gonna do? Arrest me and sentence me to death? Probably…. So yeah keep it between us.

You’re probably wondering “P’pol! What about your new tribe? Did you ever learn the morin khuur? Did you find food?” The answers may surprise you! I gave up on the tribe. No one wanted to join, they all just stared at me and walked away. I did learn the morin khuur! Not….not well. And as for food, well, let’s just say… define “food.”

I ate, let’s leave it at that. And now I’m starting a whole new life! Again! Again again!

Coming back to Eorzea was eye-opening, especially after all I’ve learned! They don’t even have all that many TVs here. What’s a TV, you ask? I don’t really know, but I like them and we should get some to just put up around the place. I mean, to be fair, it’s not like I’ve really had a chance to go to anywhere with, you know, civilization… really… at least not in the traditional sense. When you’re an outlaw, it kind of restricts the places you can safely go, you know? But I’m doing alright! I even found a new group of people to chill with!

Calling themselves the Lambs of Dalamud, this community cooperative of moon enthusiasts welcomed me in with open arms! They said that after I really laid into the false twelve that I was welcome to hang with them any time and having nowhere else to go, obviously it was the best choice! They even gave me my own room in a castle! And an Ahriman servant!

Being the inquisitive type that I am, I didn’t just sit around all day in my room pining for TVs. No, I explored, snooped, and talked to anyone who would take the time to do so and I gotta say, this is an exciting bunch of people! Really, I think everyone would be very interested in signing up, given the opportunity.

In fact, I encourage you to! Look for the kind folks in red robes and tell them P’pol sent you to join their… oh what did they call it… Divine Mission? I don’t know, probably, that’s close enough anyway. Be sure to name-drop me, though! I get points!

As I mentioned in my tirade against the twelve, everyone thought Dalamud was tied to Menphina in some way, maybe as like a big bloody dog or… Well, I guess just that, but still, that’s a way. And, as we all know thanks to it rudely colliding with us, it was not a dog or a moon at all, but a big ball with a pocket in it containing monsters such as Bahamut(s(?)). As such, this pocket ball, or Pokéball, for short, was something of a lie. Still, having two moons was really cool because it effectively doubled our chances of having solar eclipses.

Now, we rarely have any eclipses, leaving many cultists feeling listless and bored.

The Lambs of Dalamud, however, are not sitting around on their hands, whining non-stop like other gatherings of likeminded people shouting “I’m so bored I never get to make double moon sacrifices anymore wah wah wah woe is me this life is a prison and I am locked away in the remotest of its solitary confinements, cruelly abandoned by the world in this endless drudgery.”

No, in fact, I have never heard a Lambs of Dalamud member say that verbatim even once! One almost did but… well whatever, the point is, they have a plan and a goal and they are working towards their goal with unrivaled determination! I am so inspired by their sheer force of will that I, too, am following the path to help make it happen! And that lofty ambition driving them? Why, to restore Dalamud to glory, of course!

I know, I know… you’re probably like “P’pol you pathetic worm, you are delusional and mad to think you can just rebuild a moon.” First, that’s very mean of you to think that towards me and I don’t appreciate it so please think of an apology, which I of course will accept. And second, like… yeah okay, whatever dude, but hear me out, okay?!? We already went over that Dalamud is a big Pokéball, and that means it probably wasn’t born from space like that, right? Someone HAD to make it in the first place, right??? Obviously, duh. So now who looks short and foolish?

[ARTIST’S RENDITION OF TWO MOONS]

Okay, I was being mean and I apologize (See? See how it feels good when someone apologizes for being mean? Of course you do, you did it earlier, thank you). Still, it stands to reason that if someone built Dalamud…. Someone ELSE could rebuild it! And that someone is the countless members of Lambs of Dalamud, with help, of course!

Though somewhat controversial, perhaps, they have enlisted the aid of travelers from other worlds to assist in collecting the pieces to repair our shattered satellite.

Now, yes, I of course was concerned when I learned that they helpers were “voidsent,” but if you think about it, don’t they deserve a chance? What do we even know of the voidsent, except that they are immigrants coming from afar? Sure they have different customs from us and look… incredibly offputting, I mean yikes, am I right? But even so, they also have dreams! Goals! Ambitions! Sometimes, we need to set aside our differences and help each other out, you know?

And anyway, I think “voidsent” is the wrong term for these industrious fellows brought over by the Lambs of Dalamud. They’re really more “voidcalled” because they were requested specifically. Sure, some pop in from… who knows where unannounced, but I find so many adventurers to be very uncaring about the circumstances of their arrival. They may look menacing and scary, but they’re just people! Talk to them!

If looks were everything, I would have never joined the spooky crimson-robed Lambs of Dalamud, and then I would have never learned about their important mission. Just think of all the tidal activity we lost when Dalamud fell! Frankly, I’m tired of the ocean running amok thinking it owns the place. The waves need better regulation and aside from building a giant jail for the ocean, the only other way I can see this working is if we return our bright red Pokéball to the sky.

Our efforts are going to take a lot more work than even I can handle alone, but that will not stop me from trying! I encourage all adventurers from all over… When you see parts of Dalamud, pick them up and mogmail them to Ampador Keep! Even if it’s not a part of Dalamud, we need resources. Dirt, rocks, send them all! We will keep building and summoning more voidcalled to put things together again and together we will rise in the glory that is Dalamud reborn!

Until then, catch you on the other side, P’polpals!